7/365

Okay I know what's throwing me off- since I did not write on the 1st and beginning my 365 days it doesn't quite add up to the exact days. SO yeah... anyways a turn of unfortunate events this weird evening. We were laughing one moment and then it just turned into a really angry moment. I turned to my room and thought what a perfect time to write. I couldn't finish my milkshake but this is also bad- its always so excessive and then I feel bad for even having it. I always go too far - always excessive.

I want to go to this class on Saturday but I'm nervous but this is what I mean hindering myself from my goals... ah!

-Marihanna

6/365

Missed my morning walk yet again..second time in a row. It's just excuses now at this point. It's so warm in my bed but I have to just get up and do it. I kept getting today confused with the 7th maybe something good is happening tomorrow! That's a good way to look at it. I'm trying not to get burnt out. Life is good, my life is good and I am grateful with all that is surrounding me at this time in my life. I have no need to want anything else more. The realization I am going to Costa Rica in July hit me. I am putting together an outfit list. I hope Trump gets out of office ASAP. He needs to go. I try to ignore all of what he is doing but it's just so gross in the states right now. But really not trying to pour my energy into that and just trying to better my self and health. The fact my appointment is coming up is scaring me a whole lot than I thought. I am scared. I have a biopsy coming up next week and I just it's scary. I am praying that everything turns out okay and I'm cleared but the worst keeps playing over and over. I just need to breathe. It will all be okay. Just like my little says, "It's okay, I'm okay." Goodnight.

-Marihanna

5/365

Long day, but not too tired surprisingly. I did find myself have a moment of weakness of not knowing what to do - staring at my phone realizing I have no one trying to contact me. Then I got up and started making dinner. The meal I made was stuffed bell peppers. I cooked the ground turkey mixed kidney beans and layered it with colby jack cheese and had them in the oven. I also made rice- on the stove which came out pretty decent. I definitely am giving myself a pat on the back since it was good and fulfilling. I had a moment of craving ice cream but it's almost 8pm over here and I turned to make myself a tea instead.

I had this pain - sort of like pressure in the upper middle of my back.. is this what it means to get old? Oh I need to start stretching. Work went fine - first day back. It's just finding peace whenever I can. That's pretty much all I got for today. So goodnight, talk tomorrow..

-Marihanna