I don't know if I will lay with another man after this.... wait who am I kidding yes I will but I mean not yet, not anytime soon. This sort of had to happen I feel to shake things up for me. I was thinking maybe it's some sort of punishment why do I have to go through this? Why me and not the men that i have laid before me. I would have greatly want them to have this instead of me. But I have to go through it... I just -maybe it's the universe, God, my highest self telling me in a way that I'll listen because all the other times I didn't a My mom always told me to wait but I just thought that these men loved me... that they would love me once i open my legs, that they wanted me. It sounds so sad and silly doesn't it? Please feel pity for me because I was damaged then..
Simple Pleasures
not being noticed/ feeling behind/ not doing what I said I wanted to do/ not following through with plans/ skipping a meal/ not listening to my intuition/ forgetting to turn the light off when I already got in bed/ knowing the guy wasn't right for me but went for it anyway/ yelling/ getting angry/ feeling stuck/
waking up and not having to go to work/ waking up and the sun shining through my windows/ buying a book/ a good cup of iced chai tea/ hanging out with my sisters/ hanging out with my parents/ knowing what to write and getting all messy in it/ finding a good song/ yoga/ reorganizing my room/ going on trips/ taking a nice long shower/ taking a bath (which I haven't done in 3 long years)/ kissing a boy that I like/ talking to strangers that know nothing about me/ getting lost in a good book/ finishing a crotchet item/ hugging my cat/ hugging my dog/ looking at the moon/ going to the beach/ laughing until I pee my pants/ thinking outside the box/ painting/ my etch sketch pad/ my room/ putting away the groceries/ eating warm sweets/ walking with no destination/ playing pickle ball/ looking at the time and knowing I have more time before bed/ journaling/ playing speed with my mom/ playing board games/ being myself/ meditating/ finding old journals that were tucked away/ being warm.